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Written By Onihaxy
[story] Adebimpe the facebook girl (complet season 2)
Episode 1
I took 2 days off for thursday and friday from
my work place earlier on that tuesday . I
arranged all my original credentials in a file
bag, and I took a cross bag (campus bag)
containing 2 shirts, boxers, cream and my
cards with me. The file bag couldn’t enter the
campus back so I held it on my hand.
I went straight to the abuja park at around
9am. At the row where I was sitting, we were
two. A woman at the other extreme side,
followed by me. After about 10minutes, a very
pretty and fair lady join us on the seat to
complete the row. I fall in love with the scents
of her perfume instantly. Her pink top was
revealing the upper part of her bosoms. Her
lips was red and tempting. In short, I forgot
about my mission and I was so lost into my
new seat-mate.
Few minutes later. The bus took off. I paid for
my T.fare and I had 9,000 left with me. I
forgot about my worries and I was thinking of
how to initiate a chat with my new seat-mate.
Each time I try to talk to her, I always got
scared and I would keep quiet. After about 1
hour into the journey. I took the courage to
initiate a chat with her by asking her “what
says the time?”. She replied me with a smile
and the chemistry began to flow. One thing led
to another, we got along in the bus as we
were chatting and talking all through.
When we got to the highway where snacks
were been sold. I bought 4 galas and 2 can
drinks out of my remaining 9k and we shared
it. “Chai onihaxy, if women no kill you, you go
leave long”. She appreciated the snacks and
we continue chatting until she fell asleep. I
offered her my shoulder to lean her head on
which she doesn’t mind.
As she placed her head on my shoulder, her
compressed bosoms were pressing on my
chest and I began to have “hard-on”. I placed
my hands on her back and began to caress
her but she didn’t respond, I guess she was so
deep into sleep. When she woke up, we
continued with our chats and discussions.
Soon, we arrived at abuja at about 4pm and
we alighted from the bus. I wanted to ask for
her number but I was scared to do so. She left
me at the park and took cab from there. “Chai,
I don miss my friend the event planner, he for
don ginger me”.
I left the park in disappointment and I asked
people around for where to get bus going to
minna. I was directed to somewhere and I
went there. I found a bus and arrived at minna
at late in the night. I called tosin and he came
to pick me up.
We got to his house and I was surprised at
what I saw. My apartment in akure was ok
than what I saw here despite my little salary. I
wanted to ask him questions but I was so
tired due to the journey. I just ate dinner and
slept off.
……………..8 weeks later.
SEGE: onihaxy, I don dey notice you all these
days ooooo
ME: wetin happen? raised eyebrow
SEGE: since that bimpe Dam don comot, you
just dey dull this days.
ME: hmmmmmm
SEGE: this one no be the matter of
“hmmmmmmm”, you sure say that girl never
wash pant inside food for you?, infact, I dey
suspect say she don lace her pusssy with juju.
ME: not really jaree. I just like bimpe and I
keep thinking about her. I don’t know why sha.
SEGE: **** laughs loudly***
hahahahahahahahaha. My Baddest Maga ever
liveth, I know say no be the girl dey worry you,
na her pusssy, hahahahaha ****pats me on
the laps and kept laughing****
ME: stop that jaree.
SEGE: hahahahahahaha. Chaii, na so her toto
sweet reach??, onihaxy talk true, e be like say
that girl dey give you special deliveries on
bed.
ME: “segun je ka serious jaree” I just love this
girl sha, I don’t know why I can’t take her off
my mind.
SEGE: guy, tell me say na joke!!
ME: segun, no be joke, I don tell you
something like this before?.
SEGE: hissed “ode”, instead of you to go
for an H.I.V test abi na AIDS dem dey call am,
you are here mourning about one Dam.
ME: you won’t understand sha.
SEGE: hahahahahaha, why won’t I
understand?, e be like say you were destined
to be her maga for life.
ME: no segun, I always have this feelings that
the judgement we gave her was too harsh.
SEGE: and so?, “iyen o kan aye men”. That is
the minimum judgement a Dam deserves,
ME: stop it jor.
SEGE: she should thank her stars that it
wasn’t in the period that I was desperate to
have money, I for don take her do rituals.
ME: segun haba!!!.
SEGE: na so now. I no know why you carry
sword-man’s abandon K###y-Cat for head like
this?, you don dey craze oo Mr maga.
ME: segun you know what? ****adjusted my
sitting position****, I keep wondering how she
would get back to port-harcourt without T.fare
as she didn’t have money on her.
SEGE: that one simple now, no be runs girl she
be?, sebi na to sell her toto give two or three
guys for bustop and make money.
ME: segun!!!!!!!!
SEGE: yes now mr maga, or patapata e, she go
sell her phone to make money, maybe that’s
why her number no dey go again sef?.
ME: hmmmmmmmmmm!. Oga oooo.
SEGUN : ogbeni forget matter jaree, I dey go
my house to prepare for tomorrow’s work.
ME: ok jaree padi e,
SEGUN: mr maga, you no go see me off?
ME: frowned no dey call me “maga”
again jor, I no like am jare.
SEGE: you dey craze, na certified maga you be.
If not for me, maybe you for don sell all your
properties give bimpe.
ME: na you sabi. Let me see you off.
SEGE: hahahahahahaha. If you like, kill
yourself ontop one yeye bimpe ooo, you
hear!!!!. Who knows?, maybe she dey ontop
another dicck right now rocking cowgirl’s
style. Abi no be that girl?
ME: wetin do am?
SEGE: chaiiii, that girl fit Bleep ontop
transformer ooooo.
ME: laughs segun, na you sabi, come
dey go your house abeg. I will branch at your
place tomorrow when I’m coming back from
work.
SEGE: no wahala mr maga “hahahahaha”. My
regards to adebimpe oooooo. Hahahahaha.
ME: you no well.
Segun left my house, I sat down on my chair
and began to review all that happened
between me and adebimpe.
Episode 2
After segun’s departure, I began to reason and
think of why I still loved this girl despite all
what she did to me, the more I think of her,
the more I was lost in my thoughts. I couldn’t
figure out what really could prompt such
feelings. “Could she had jazzed me?”
“Maybe segun was right sha!”
“Abi she truly laced her K###y-Cat?”
“Abi na the waist bead she used?”
“But the judgement was harsh oo”
“But she deserved it na”
“But she is pretty and cute oo”
“What if she was flirting secretly?”
“What if I didn’t find out?”.
“Who knows if she might change?”
“Who know if she had cursed me?”
“How did she get to PH sef?”
“Abi she was killed ni?”
“Maybe she is dead at the moment?”
“Her number no dey go again”
“Even her FB has been dormant”
“But I liked that girl oooo”
“She is really smart sha”
“It takes only smart girl to play game”
I was lost in thoughts and asking myself all
sort rhetorical questions and there was no one
beside me to provide answers to it.
I picked my phone to check her profile on my
facebook but I couldn’t see her on my friend
list and search results. I tried checking again
and the result was still empty. It was then
that I remembered that she had blocked me on
the same day segun sent her away.
I tried logging in into her account but the
screen was showing “incorrect password”.
**chaiii, this girl don change password
sha*****
I created another facebook account and
searched for her name from my new account
and it was displayed, but the account was
dormant for the past 5 weeks. No new update,
no new uploads.
I dropped the phone and while I was still lost
in my thoughts about Adebimpe, my phone
was ringing, I moved closer to the bed to see
who was calling and I was shocked to see the
name that appeared on the screen.
Episode 3
I looked at the screen of my phone. It was
kemi. I also met kemi online before my
encounter with bimpe. She claimed to be
based in lagos according to her back then
when we met 9 months ago.
She told me she was a fashion designer and
also a part time student of yabatech at the
same time. After 3 weeks of chating when we
met, she sent her phone number to me on
facebook after several pleas. Our friendship
became interesting that we were fond of each
other, I would always call her in the morning,
afternoon, and night. I would sent series of
sms to kemi and she would also send hers.
After few weeks of friendship, I asked her out
and she gave me a pending response. I never
gave up on kemi as I kept pressurising her to
be mine, convincing her with sweet and
mouth-watering talks. I never seized to
bombard her with my specially designed love
sms. Alas, she finally agreed to be my
girlfriend and the official E-dating started 6
months ago..
At the beginning of the E-dating, everything
was going smooth, I was always looking
forward to the day I would get to see kemi
face to face. We began to plan how we would
meet and I never had the feelings that it was a
distance affairs, I always have this possibility
and positivity kind of mindset that we would
be together someday no matter how long the
“E-dating” lasted.
About 2 month into the relationship, things
began to get complicated. Kemi no longer call
or text me like she used to do before,
conversation began to get boring as the day
passes by and to crown it all, kemi would
always be on my neck for airtime credits.
At first, I didn’t find any fault or problem in
sending airtime to her. I had this mentality
that she is my girlfriend and I am responsible
for recharging her phone so that other guys
wouldn’t snatch her from me. But along the
line, I was getting uncomfortable with the card
of a thing. Kemi would not call on a good day
to greet me on check on me, anytime my
phone rings and I picked, the conversation is
always “baby please send me card”, and the
funniest thing was that she would only flash
me or call to tell me “baby, I have seen the
card, thanks” and she would hang up. It was
when she needed another card that she would
dial my number again. The whole thing got
boring to me and I began to loose interest in
kemi gradually, it got to a time that I stopped
calling her also. When she calls to ask for
airtime as usual, I would promise her that I
would send it and ended up not sending
anything, when she finally realized that airtime
isn’t coming forth from me anymore, the
communication was broken finally as she no
longer calls again neither do I call her also.
And 4 months ago was the last time we spoke
together.
Seeing her call again, I was shocked and
surprised, I was like “so this girl still have my
number all this while?”. I stopped thinking
about bimpe and I picked the call.
ME: hello
KEMI: hi onihaxy, nawa for you oooo, you
didn’t even bother to call me again. This is
unfair
ME: I’m so sorry kemi, I lost my phone, and I
got a new phone and lost the former contacts.
KEMI: onihaxy!!!!!!!, so how did you know its
me.
ME: I recognised your voice, I got to know that
its you when you said “hello” KEMI: ok dear,
how are you?, I have missed you ooooo.
ME: ****yinmu, “oloshi, may thunder fire you if
you demand for card again today”****** I
missed you too dear.
KEMI: I just called to tell you that I’m
attending a wedding in akure next weekend. I
would see you when I’m around.
ME: its ok, can’t wait to see you.
KEMI: are you sure?
ME: yes
KEMI: ok dear. Baby please help me with little
airtime please.
ME: ***oloshi****, ok, but not now
KEMI: when?, I need it urgently please.
ME: I’m not at home at the moment and I
didn’t go with my wallet, maybe when I get
back home sha.
KEMI: thanks dear, I will be expecting it. Can’t
wait to see you next weekend.
ME: can’t wait to see you too. Bye
KEMI: bye ***hanged up******
Yeah, its time for me to get a “pension s#x”
for all my wasted
investment***************
More at my9jarocks.info
Episode 4
After the call that evening, I dropped my
phone on the bed, I began to contemplate on
whether to send the card or not. I think back
to the past and I remembered that she had
bad records when it come to lies. Kemi had
lied so many times to me just to get recharge
cards. I could remembered vividly the day she
called me at 10pm that she needed N400mtn
card to call her families and inform them that
her mother was critically ill and needed
medical attention urgently, I was shocked and
began to shiver that night, “oooh, God please
save my future mother inlaw for me ooo, I
don’t want to loose her at the moment” I was
running helter skater to get the recharge card
that night. I had to rush down to the ATM to
make a VTU transfer when I couldn’t see a
vendor. After transferring the card to her, she
didn’t call me and I didn’t have any airtime on
my phone to call her. I had to use a
neighbour’s phone to call her. I intentionally
adjust my voice when I called her.
ME: hello kemi,
KEMI: who is this? *****is he the one calling?
****** “another lady was asking her at the
background”
ME: angried and amazed its me kunle
KEMI: ***replied the other lady, “No, its not
him, its another person”**** kunle from where
please?
ME: from lagos.
KEMI: can’t recollect such identity. How did
you get my number please? *****the
background lady: cut him off jaree and let’s
call another person****
Hello, pls call me tomorrow morning. I’m busy
at the moment
ME: ok ****hanged up****.
From the little drama. I knew it already that I
was played. But I was blinded with love to
express my feelings.
All the memories of her past lies was flashing
back in my brain. Then I thought of it again,
“what if her next visitation is actually true?”. I
began to imagine the pictures of her gorgeous
look and endowed packages I had been seeing
on her facebook profile, I began to imagine
myself squeezing and experimenting her killer
“ukwu”. Immediately, I became totally
confused on whether to send the card or not?.
After few minutes of contemplating, then I
remembered I have a friend who once delivered
me from a scammer. Then I decided to chat
with “sege” on whatsapp concerning kemi’s
matter.
ME: ogbeni how far?
SEGE: oko bimpe, I dey oooooo.
ME: you know well, who be oko bimpe?
SEGE: eeeh, sorry, Mr maga I mean jaree
ME: you no well ni
SEGE: loooool
ME: errrhhhm, you still remember this girl,
kemi?
SEGE: who is kemi?
ME: that my babe wey I tell you say she dey
stay for lag na.
SEGE: I no remember ooo.
ME: the one I met before bimpe na.
SEGE: oooooooooooooh, that your recharge
card babe abi?.
ME: yeah
SEGE: wetin do her?
ME: she just called me say she dey come
akure next weekend
SEGE: that one nice na. Na kitten weekend be
that for you na.
ME: you no well
SEGE: are you guys still dating?
ME: we never broke up before, we only stopped
communicating with each other
SeGE: and wetin be that one?, no be break-up
be that.
ME: that one aside jaree. She said I should
send her airtime.
SEGE: hmmmmm. I trust you say you don send
am already.
ME: no oooo, I am contemplating on whether
to send or not.
SEGE: that babe na cheap airtime scammer.
But since she talk say she dey come akure, risk
this last one and send like 200mtn sha.
Atleast to pour water on ground and then walk
on wet ground.
ME: thanks jaree my guy.
SEGE: I hear. But don’t send another airtime
again until you set your eyes on her oooooo.
ME: I hear.
The following morning on my way to work, I
stopped at a vendor and got a N200 airtime
for kemi. As usual, she only called to thank
me in 12 seconds and later hanged up. 3days
gone and I didn’t hear from kemi again until
the 4th night which was thursday night when
she called me again.
ME: hello dear, how are you?
KEMI: I’m fine dear, thanks for the other day
ME: you are welcome dear
KEMI: I also want to remind you that I would
be around next weekend oooo. And you will
talk me out and buy gifts for me ooo.
ME: no problem dear.
KEMI: thanks love. I’m missing you seriously
ME: same here
KEMI: that’s my baby. Errrrrrhmm honey, can
you please help me with a little airtime
please?, even if it is just N200 please
Episode 5
Recharge card again?, what do I do this time?,
segun must not hear this, and I don’t want her
to change her mind about coming over to see
me, but seriously, I was tired of this airtime
demands of a thing but at the same time, I
wanted to fucck kemi.
I decided to risk it again and transfer N100
airtime to her from my phone. One thing about
kemi was that, whenever she gets an airtime
below what she requested for, she would never
call back to appreciate but if she gets the
exact amount she requested for, she would call
back and spend maximum of 30seconds on a
call. After the transfer, she didn’t call back as
usual and I ignored her.
On saturday, I went to visit segun and we had
a chat about kemi. I told segun that kemi
would be around on the following week and
my guy came up with a master plan as usual.
ME: sege, that my babe go arrive next
weekend ooooo
SEGE: bimpe or kemi?
ME: which one be bimpe again jor?, its kemi
SEGE: oooooh, the airtime merchandise?
ME: na you sabi.
SEGE: but is she staying over at your place?,
or just stopping by to visit?
ME: we never discuss that one yet
SEGE: all the same, you must sample that girl
at this only opportunity oooo. Or else, u might
not see another opportunity again.
ME: I go try sha.
SEGE: you must do ni. You know hungry girls
like kemi requires special tactics to get them
laid.
ME: really?, gist me.
SEGE: firstly, you must act or fake it that you
have money to spend on her when she is
around, you must be good at fake promises
and your mouth must be loaded with lies, na
that thing dey give them hope say “hmmm, I
must maga this guy, e be like say e get
money”
ME: hmmmm sege!!!!, and after that nko?
****getting interesting*****,
SEGE: you must be smart to play your game
wella so as not to miss the fuccking. Make
sure that u post all the spending till after s#x,
and not before.
ME: I still don’t understand
SEGE: mr maga, listen. If you spend before
planning to have s#x, you might not get it,
just keep making mouth till you get what you
want.
ME: I hear you ooooo.
SEGE: when she dey with you. Call me and we
go act drama for her.
ME: mr sege!!!!!, I dey fear you oooo
SEGE: you think say I be mumu like you?. Na
me dey scam girls, girls no dey dupe me.
Loooool.
I returned home that night. Segun and I began
our rehearsals on whatsapp ahead of kemi’s
arrival. Ever since I was growing up, I had
always have this mentality that “the more you
spend for her, the more she loves you” but
segun changed my orientation and made me
realize that most times, “the more you spend
blindly, the more you are a maga”.
Between monday and Wednesday of the
following week, kemi called me more than 5
times but I didn’t pick up, I intentionally
refused to pick up because I knew she would
always demand for airtime. On thursday
morning, I called her myself.
ME: hello kemi
KEMI: my love, how are you?, why did you
refused picking my calls for the past four
days?
ME: I’m sorry, the phone was on silent since
sunday night and I misplaced it since then. I
tried calling the number from another phone
to trace it but it wasn’t ringing out, it was this
morning that I found it inside the kitchen
cupboard.
KEMI: eeyah, sorry about that my love, I was
thinking you were with another girl, maybe
that’s why you refused to pick up.
ME: ****oloshi, this one wey you dey call me
“my love” I know say na “send me airtime” go
end am********, baby when are you coming?.
KEMI: I would arrive this evening, but the
event is tomorrow and saturday.
ME: are you staying over at my place?
KEMI: ***laughs****
ME: why laughing?
KEMI: you are funny ni, I’m coming with my
family, we would be staying over at the place
provided for us. since I’m not alone, I won’t be
able to stay over at your place.
ME: huuuuuh, how do I take you out for
shopping then?
KEMI: eeeeeeehhh!!! You mean you want to
shop for me?
ME: yes, I am even buying a phone for you
since you said your phone is giving you
issues.
KEMI: huuuuh. That’s why I love you honey.
But why don’t we do it like this?
ME: how?
KEMI: please do all the shopping and bring it
to me where I would be staying, I might not be
chanced to spend time outside, sebi I told you
I would be with my family?
ME: ****heartbroken “oloshi”******* no
problem dear, let’s postpone all the shopping
and gifts to another day that you would have
time. I can’t just be roaming about
supermarkets alone on my own without you by
my side, I would only come and say Hi to you
wherever you are. That’s all
KEMI: common dear, so you won’t bring
anything for me?
ME: not sure, maybe apples only sha.
KEMI: haba!!!, ok you know what!
ME: what?
KEMI: let me get to akure first, then I would
know how to squeeze out time to go out with
you.
ME: that’s my baby
KEMI: are you happy now?
ME: off course. So what time will u get to
akure?
KEMI: can’t say yet, but we would leave home
by 10am sha.
ME: ok dear, can’t wait to see you
KEMI: same here dear
ME: pls let me know when you are around
KEMI: ok my love, eeeerhm my love, please
can you do me a favour please!!
ME: ***hanged up*****, oloshi, the only favour
I have been doing you is Airtime, “omo-ale
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