1 00:01:16,087 --> 00:01:21,687 03 Police Academy 3 Back In Training - Comedy 1986 720p [H264-mp4] English 2 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:29,922 GUARD: We close in 20 minutes. 3 00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:50,442 MAN 1: Damn! 4 00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:54,905 Thanks. 5 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:00,786 MAN 1: Aah! Gee. 6 00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:03,622 MAN 2: Ooh. Ow! MAN 1: Ow! 7 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,625 MAN 2: Ow! MAN 1: Argh. 8 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,553 - Where the hell are these clowns? - It is a large garage, sir. 9 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:22,141 - We're over here! - Are you an idiot? 10 00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:25,936 [CAR HORN HONKS] 11 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,646 PROCTOR: There they are. 12 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,273 Get down. 13 00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:33,110 It's about time. 14 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:36,071 I've sucked up enough fumes to last me a lifetime. 15 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,865 Stand up! 16 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:40,409 What's with all this deep-throat crap? 17 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:43,912 Don't look at me. It wasn't my idea to meet here. It was his. 18 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,998 We shouldn't be seen together. 19 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:50,085 Just thinking of the safety factor of Operation Fiasco. 20 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,172 That's what I call this, sir. 21 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,674 I work with the village idiot. 22 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,886 - Do you guys have any idea- - Sir, your glasses! 23 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:05,809 Do you guys... Take off your glasses. 24 00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:10,564 Do you guys have any idea how many police academies are in this state? 25 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:15,319 - Is this a trick question, sir? - No, this is not a trick question, sir. 26 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,237 - Two. - Wrong. 27 00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:21,533 My sources have informed me that one of them is about to be terminated. 28 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,702 - Which one? - I don't know. 29 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,163 They haven't decided yet. 30 00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:28,749 And that's where you two come in. 31 00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:33,212 I need two good men that'll make sure Lassard's academy fails and not mine. 32 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,965 I need two good men that'll inform on Lassard's academy... 33 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,134 and tell me every move they make. 34 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:43,222 I need two good men that'll sell out their mothers to get ahead. 35 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,225 BOTH: That's us. - Good. 36 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,311 Can we go now? 37 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:52,022 We should split up. 38 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,942 Safety factor. We'll go first. 39 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,659 [CAR HORN HONKS] 40 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,745 [CAR HORN HONKING] 41 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,081 PROCTOR: Looks like it's closed, sir. 42 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,922 They locked us in. 43 00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:22,427 [MAUSER GRUNTING] 44 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:26,807 The car! 45 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,226 [SCREAMING] 46 00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:31,395 Proctor! 47 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:33,146 PROCTOR: No problem, sir! 48 00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:35,232 I got it! Please! 49 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,317 - My car! - Please, stop! 50 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,945 [PROCTOR WHIMPERING] 51 00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:43,198 [SCREAMING THEN CRASHING] 52 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,158 [HONKING] 53 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,287 My car. 54 00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:56,753 [BAND PLAYING] 55 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,562 As governor of this great state of ours... 56 00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:17,482 it fills me with pride to see these graduating police cadets. 57 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,527 I'm also sad to tell you... 58 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:24,156 that this is the last time we will be graduating two classes. 59 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:25,949 What? 60 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:30,912 It's time to tighten our belts. It's time to close one of the academies. 61 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:36,126 But in the spirit of fair play, which is the hallmark of my administration... 62 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,295 I have appointed a committee... 63 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:41,840 to evaluate and compare the two academies. 64 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,260 That way, their fate will rest in their own hands. 65 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:49,473 I am certain that both commandants will welcome such a challenge. 66 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,351 Got it! 67 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,313 Isn't that true, Comdt. Mauser and Comdt. Lassard? 68 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,910 Well, Comdt. Lassard, good luck, sir. 69 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:15,415 - May the better academy win. - We intend to, sir. 70 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,959 Don't be too sure, Comdt. Mauser. 71 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:22,756 We have many wonderful new recruits which we shall mold in my own image. 72 00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:25,592 Promise me you'll do that, sir, please. 73 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,886 Sir. The committee. 74 00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:33,683 Ladies, gentlemen, truly a pleasure. 75 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:37,479 Anyone need a ride, police escort? Don't hesitate to ask. 76 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:41,858 Oh. Governor, magnificent speech! 77 00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:45,153 Bravo! I applaud you. 78 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,449 Whoo! Whoo! 79 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,202 Why beat around the bush, Mauser? 80 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,704 Just get down on your knees and kiss his ass. 81 00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:58,166 I don't need any tactical advice from you, Callahan. 82 00:06:58,376 --> 00:06:59,751 Governor! 83 00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,211 Governor. 84 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,798 I know you're a busy man, sir, but I've been doing a study... 85 00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:07,509 on some training techniques I thought might interest you. 86 00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:10,303 The Governor is in a hurry, Comdt. Mauser. 87 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,889 I could memo you on these, sir. 88 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,351 Governor, I speak for everyone when I say- 89 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,686 [GRUNTING] 90 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:20,856 Let me assure you, Governor... 91 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:23,358 Comdt. Mauser does not speak for this academy. 92 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:24,943 Governor, what I meant to say was- 93 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,695 [GRUNTING] 94 00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:34,453 Get a hold of yourself, you idiot. You're making the Governor sick! 95 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:36,288 LASSARD: Well, Mauser. 96 00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:39,082 You certainly made a lasting impression on the Governor. 97 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:42,627 The only impression that counts, sir, is in this file! 98 00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:46,298 We'll see who's got an academy when this is over. 99 00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:47,549 Proctor! 100 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:53,472 COPELAND: You have nothing to worry about, sir. 101 00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:55,724 Right. Just leave everything to us. 102 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:59,644 We'll make Mauser eat those words. Let's go. 103 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,023 - Mahoney. JONES & CALLAHAN: Right. 104 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,818 Okay, come on now. Guys! 105 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,278 [MOUTHS] Girls. 106 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,406 Girls, of course, I'm sorry. All right, keep it up! Number one! 107 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:15,327 Take it on, drive it in here! Keep it alive. Take it in, drive in! 108 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,954 Keep your arms up! Take it! Take it on... 109 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,499 Try! Bring it back. Stop. Stop the playing! 110 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:24,711 Give me the ball. Gather around, girls. I want to talk about something. 111 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,838 I want you to remember from yesterday... 112 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,257 Come a little closer. All right. 113 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,802 Remember from yesterday, you pick and roll? Now, ready and break! 114 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,221 Number two. Keep it alive. 115 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:37,557 DISPATCHER: Police Academy to Sgt. Mahoney. Come in, please. 116 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:39,267 Sgt. Mahoney's office. 117 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,687 DISPATCHER: Get me Mahoney, and get your feet off the dashboard! 118 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,858 Good, take it along now. 119 00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:50,987 - I'm sorry, Sergeant. I didn't mean to. MAHONEY: That's okay. My pleasure. 120 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:55,325 Sgt. Mahoney, I just heard, Comdt. Lassard needs help. 121 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,369 Lassard's in trouble? 122 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:58,912 KID 1: Give it back! 123 00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:01,790 [CHUCKLES] 124 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,333 KID 2: Wait. Wait for me! 125 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,584 KID 3: Go, Mom! 126 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:06,586 [THIEF GRUNTING] 127 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,755 [THIEF SCREAMS] 128 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,759 DISPATCHER: Sgt. Hightower, come in. 129 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:13,969 Shit. 130 00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:16,138 DISPATCHER: Hightower, get rid of the pantyhose... 131 00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:18,014 and report to the academy immediately. 132 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:19,432 I'm on my way. 133 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,560 KIRKLAND: Eugene? 134 00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,979 Hey, Eugene. 135 00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:25,689 Tackleberry? 136 00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:31,861 Come on out, Eugene. I give up. 137 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:34,864 You outdid yourself this time. 138 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,325 Olly, olly, oxen free? 139 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,536 [MOSQUITO BUZZING] 140 00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,914 All right, come on, Tackleberry, I'm tired of this. 141 00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,166 Quit fooling around in the backyard. 142 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,588 I'm serious. I got something to tell you. 143 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:50,922 [GUN COCKS] 144 00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:54,509 All right, come on, Eugene. I'm getting pretty tired of this. 145 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,387 Come on, Eugene, I got an important message- 146 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,681 Good one, Tack. Really fooled me. 147 00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:02,684 Mahoney called. He said Lassard needs help. 148 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:25,624 What a wonderful moment, my favorite graduates back. 149 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:29,169 The academy is facing its greatest challenge. 150 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,421 After many years... 151 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:36,134 of graduating many fine police officers, the State says... 152 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,179 it can no longer afford two police academies. 153 00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,848 God knows what they did with all the money. 154 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,516 [GROANS] 155 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,769 We have a tradition to uphold... 156 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:48,813 a reputation to defend, and defend it, we will! 157 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,986 - Thank you, Mahoney. - Anytime, sir. 158 00:10:55,738 --> 00:11:00,325 With our new recruits and your help, I'm sure we can survive the competition. 159 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,286 There can only be one winner. 160 00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:08,750 But also only one loser, which works out nicely. 161 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,586 I certainly hope we win. 162 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,255 Then I can retire with the same sense of dignity... 163 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,675 I have always brought to the academy. 164 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,176 Whoa! 165 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,011 Dismissed. 166 00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:23,390 MRS. FACKLER: Get out of my way, or I'll start playing rough. 167 00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:24,974 FACKLER: Don't do that. MRS. FACKLER: No, I will not! 168 00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:27,811 You have the stupidest idea. Put down that suitcase. 169 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,814 - You are not going to that police academy. - Wrong! 170 00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:32,774 Aah! 171 00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:36,611 Finally, don't you think one policeman in this family is enough? 172 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,072 MRS. FACKLER: Stop it! I don't care what you say! 173 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,534 - Great, great. - Great. 174 00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:46,830 Okay, listen. See, I just wanted to join the force to be with you. 175 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:51,209 I mean, we can ride together, we can wear matching uniforms, share ammo... 176 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,503 everything that makes a marriage work. 177 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,256 Honey, look. Listen to me, sweetheart. 178 00:11:57,299 --> 00:12:01,386 - Police work, it's just so dangerous. - I don't care! 179 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,555 Oh, no. No, you don't! 180 00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:04,806 [MRS. FACKLER SCREAMS] 181 00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:07,642 You let go of me, mister, or face the consequences! 182 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,437 MRS. PECTELLl: Good morning, Facklers. - Hello, Mrs. Pectelli. 183 00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:12,856 It is hell out there on those streets. 184 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,568 - All right. Okay. - Come on. 185 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,363 Sweetie, what? Come on. 186 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,616 We're adults. I know we can talk this thing out. 187 00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:27,454 Exactly. I know you're smart enough to do that work. It's just that... 188 00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:32,041 I'm the breadwinner in this family, and you're my lady, and your place is at home. 189 00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,252 Right? Come on, give me a kiss. 190 00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,838 What do you... Come on. 191 00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:40,175 You think I can't break this down? Open it up, sweetie. 192 00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:43,511 I'm a policeman. I'm trained for this kind of stuff, you know that? 193 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:47,390 All right, big joke. Open that door! Come on. You said we'd be adults. 194 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,018 [SIREN WAILING] 195 00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:52,437 Hey! That's my... 196 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:02,071 - Do you want to kill me? - I have thought about it a couple of times. 197 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,199 Honey, stop it right now! I'm serious! 198 00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:06,618 I don't care. I wanna go to the police academy. 199 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:10,580 Listen to reason, will you? Listen to me right now. You are not gonna... 200 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,416 - What are you doing? - I want you off this car now! 201 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,294 I just waxed this car. You'll get me into so much trouble. 202 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,546 [CAR HORN HONKING] 203 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:22,008 This is a city street, not a drag strip, thank you. 204 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,847 If you don't like it, you go around me! 205 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:31,976 [CAR HORNS HONKING] 206 00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:35,063 MAN: -with volume on the New York Stock Exchange as of this hour... 207 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:40,151 at 56 million shares in moderate trading, with the Dow Jones up 4 points at 1507. 208 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:43,404 The dollar is showing renewed strength against foreign currency... 209 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,294 gaining 10 percent against the pound... 210 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,700 on rumors of the Fed's dropping interest rates. 211 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,703 The uncertainty of interest rates is affecting the bond market. 212 00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,872 Trading has been cautious and will remain... 213 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,092 This is not Le Mans! 214 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:14,978 [SIRENS WAILING] 215 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:29,784 [CAR HORN HONKING] 216 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,299 Porter. Redcap. 217 00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:48,636 That's right. Could you help me with these, please? 218 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,180 That's right. Come on over here. 219 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:54,058 Thank you. That'll be fine, thank you. 220 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:01,858 [GLASS BREAKING] 221 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:03,651 Porter. 222 00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:08,197 [RECRUITS LAUGHING AND YELLING] 223 00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,867 Please, sit down. Please. 224 00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,118 Um, uh, um... 225 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,411 [WHISTLE BLOWING] 226 00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:17,081 Zip your lips, slap your butts to the seat and listen hard! 227 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:20,585 That's a lot better. 228 00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:24,881 Let me be the first to welcome you to the fabulous Midcity Police Academy. 229 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:28,343 We're about to begin an incredible 14-week adventure in living. 230 00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,678 I'm one of your hosts, Sgt. Carey Mahoney. 231 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:33,348 And as you exit the bus, please form a double line. 232 00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:34,557 And march them! 233 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,018 [JONES BEAT-BOXING] 234 00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:52,867 Who did that? 235 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,370 [IN GOOFY VOICE] Say, man, this place is crazy. 236 00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:57,413 Suckers always making me dance and stuff. 237 00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,458 What kind of place is this? I don't look like I'm gonna make it. 238 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,786 [IN DEEP VOICE] You'll make it just fine. Keep dancing. 239 00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:05,713 MAUSER: Hmm. Good. 240 00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:12,845 Good, tall. Good. 241 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,806 Good, strong. 242 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,141 Excuse me. 243 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,478 And who might you be? 244 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:24,649 Tomoko Nogata, of Tachikawa Nogatas. 245 00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:28,861 "And is this your lovely wife?" 246 00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,363 [GRUNTS] 247 00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:31,990 - Proctor. - Yes, sir. 248 00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:35,410 - What's the story here with Fu Manchu? - Fu Manchu. 249 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,203 I don't have a Fu Manchu. 250 00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:39,914 I'm talking about the stir-fried shrimp from out of town! 251 00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,916 He's with the Tachikawa Highway Patrol... 252 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:45,169 part of an international exchange program, here to study our methods. 253 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,130 I'm not teaching my cadets how to use a wok! 254 00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:48,548 [GUFFAWS] 255 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:53,511 You ship him off to Lassard's. He'll fit in perfectly over there. 256 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:56,764 He could use a good sushi chef. 257 00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:00,601 - No offense, eh? - Arigato, thank you. 258 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,270 Kiss my what? 259 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,654 Excuse me, sir. 260 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,158 - Ma'am! I'm a ma'am! - I'm sorry. 261 00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:18,036 Those guns make it difficult to tell. 262 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,788 - Are you an instructor? - Affirmative. 263 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,123 Are you a new recruit? 264 00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:26,044 - Yes, I- - She certainly is. But she's terribly shy. 265 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:29,380 Stand up straight, Sarah. And don't babble. 266 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,466 What will the instructor think? 267 00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,801 - Now, just pay attention- - Stifle it! 268 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,262 Don't worry, Sarah. When we're finished with you... 269 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,806 you'll have nerves of steel, ice in your veins... 270 00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,893 and a set of brass balls this big. 271 00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:43,394 [WHISTLE BLOWING] 272 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,354 No favoritism here, Eugene. 273 00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:48,357 Bud, here, he fouls up, you give him a good whack. 274 00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:51,778 - Ha-ha-ha. Gotcha! - That was a good one. Pretty sneaky. 275 00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:54,405 [LAUGHING] 276 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,407 Caught me off guard. 277 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:03,998 You take care of yourself, son. And pay attention to Eugene. 278 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:07,168 I'm proud of you. You're gonna make one hell of a cop. 279 00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:10,004 Thanks, Dad. Would you give this to Mom for me? 280 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,549 Ha, ha. Don't forget to buckle up. 281 00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,302 That was a good one. 282 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,973 [WOMEN SCREAMING] 283 00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,225 MR. KIRKLAND: Sorry! 284 00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:26,437 Boy, my dad and I have a terrific relationship. 285 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:34,737 [SIRENS WAILING] 286 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,368 [FACKLER SCREAMS] 287 00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:41,911 [SIREN WAILING] 288 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:46,124 Does anybody know how to shut this thing off? It's driving me nuts! 289 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,042 Thanks. 290 00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,261 Okay, that's $700. 291 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,931 - Plus tip. - Here you go. 292 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,934 Hey. Hey, Wait a minute. What is this? 293 00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:09,272 What do you think you're giving me here? What, are you kidding? 294 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,899 I don't take any money with pictures of tuna fish on it. 295 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:15,153 Come on, American money. Let's go. $700, that's what you owe me. 296 00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:17,446 Wait a minute. Excuse me. What's going on here? 297 00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:21,075 - Not enough. He owes me $700, plus tip. - $700 for a cab ride? 298 00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:24,203 - Where did you catch this cab, Yokohama? - Yokohama. 299 00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:31,377 Excuse me. I'm Officer Carey Mahoney. May I be of some assistance? 300 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:34,255 - Yes. This guy is trying to rip off this guy. - "Rip off." 301 00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:38,009 - Read the meter. The meter don't lie. - Is this true? And who's your barber? 302 00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,803 Look, wise guy, don't think a blue uniform scares me. 303 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:44,098 - No, sir, this is not a scary uniform. - No, it's not a scary uniform. 304 00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:45,988 - Hightower! ADAMS: That's a scary uniform. 305 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,227 This man just said something about your mother. 306 00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:51,147 He also charged this guy $700 for a cab ride. 307 00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:53,941 - A rip-off. - Meters don't lie. Read the meter. 308 00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:58,821 They don't lie. They never lie. 309 00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,366 Meters don't lie. 310 00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,912 This meter lied. It's a lying meter. 311 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:11,000 - Fair price. - And tip. 312 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,169 - What's your name, son? - Nogata. 313 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:15,046 - Nogata? New recruit? NOGATA: Yes. 314 00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,381 - Right over there. - Thank you. Okay. 315 00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:20,635 - Thanks, Hightower. - Okay, babe. 316 00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:26,307 Excuse me. 317 00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:29,268 That sordid little scene must have been trying on you, Miss... 318 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:30,561 Karen Adams. 319 00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:34,607 You're Karen Adams? You're kidding. Aah, we're roomies! 320 00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:37,401 I'll help you settle in. You'll take your clothes off... 321 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,291 - we'll shower, get close- - I'm sorry. 322 00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:42,865 I'm not here to get hit on by every guy who looks cute in a blue uniform. 323 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,076 I want to be a policewoman. 324 00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:46,619 You will be! 325 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:49,705 We'll get together. We'll talk! I hope. 326 00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,209 Oh. 327 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:56,671 Well, Mahoney, I see you still have very good taste. 328 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,172 Ha, ha. Thank you. 329 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,439 Nice bike! 330 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:20,069 Where do you put the batteries? Ha-ha-ha. 331 00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:23,531 Get out of my way! 332 00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,743 [LAUGHING] 333 00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:35,710 [SCREAMING] 334 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,629 That didn't hurt! 335 00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:43,092 Hi, was I going too fast? 336 00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:46,262 [BIKE HORN HONKING] 337 00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:49,765 [SWEETCHUCK SCREAMS THEN GROANS] 338 00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:54,562 Where do I go to register? 339 00:21:54,771 --> 00:21:57,690 - Let's go. Kirkland, 46! - Yeah, all right. 340 00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:00,318 - Fackler, where do you think you're going? - With him. 341 00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:02,486 - Women downstairs! - Damn! 342 00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:05,156 Move it! Let's go. Come on now, girls! 343 00:22:05,365 --> 00:22:09,076 OFFICER 1: Move it. OFFICER 2: All right, Sweetchuck, let's go. 344 00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:13,372 [ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 345 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:19,378 [BOTH SCREAMING] 346 00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:23,007 ZED: Aah! CALLAHAN: Hey! 347 00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:24,759 Oh, hi. 348 00:22:24,968 --> 00:22:27,762 - What's your problem? - He's the problem. He's an animal. 349 00:22:27,971 --> 00:22:30,139 Get used to it. He's your roommate. 350 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,934 - Aah! Roommate? - Zed's reformed. He's on our side now. 351 00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:37,855 Yeah. I used to be a real jerk, but now I'm a people guy. 352 00:22:38,565 --> 00:22:41,567 [DRUMMING] 353 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:50,284 ZED [SINGING]: It's tough to be a truck driver cowgirl 354 00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:54,330 [ZED SCREAMING AND GROANING] 355 00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:55,873 You're awake! 356 00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:59,043 What kind of music do you like? You like salsa? You like reggae? 357 00:22:59,252 --> 00:23:01,003 Something with that love beat? 358 00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:06,092 This is a song I wrote, off my first album. And it goes something like this. 359 00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,094 [SCREAMS] 360 00:23:08,303 --> 00:23:09,845 When I was a baby I had no head 361 00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:12,765 I couldn't get a job, I couldn't go to bed 362 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:17,061 It was originally a love ballad, but I kind of spruced it up. 363 00:23:18,438 --> 00:23:20,648 [ZED SCREAMING] 364 00:23:20,857 --> 00:23:23,609 No, I don't take requests. 365 00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:26,112 All right, clowns... 366 00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:29,448 I want you to police this entire area from here to the parade ground. 367 00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:33,452 I want you to pick up every cigarette butt, every scrap of paper, every weed. 368 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:35,538 Now, we're gonna be watching from my window. 369 00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:39,083 So if I see these flashlights stop moving, you're both in big trouble. 370 00:23:39,292 --> 00:23:42,002 Big trouble. Now, get to work. 371 00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:44,296 Let's go, Chad. 372 00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:49,760 [SCREAMING] 373 00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:01,230 - Mr. Zed. - No school. 374 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,899 - Mr. Zed. - What? 375 00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:07,403 - Are you sure this is gonna work? - Of course it's gonna work. 376 00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:10,406 It's working. 377 00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:17,788 CADETS: Hup, two, three, four. 378 00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:26,881 As you can see, sir, I have instant access over all my cadets... 379 00:24:27,090 --> 00:24:28,966 and all of the instructors. 380 00:24:29,259 --> 00:24:32,511 Attention! Give me 20 pushups, now! 381 00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:34,889 [PROCTOR & MAUSER LAUGHING] 382 00:24:35,098 --> 00:24:37,016 There's no escaping the camera's eye, sir. 383 00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:40,144 As you could see, I can monitor the gym, the classrooms... 384 00:24:40,353 --> 00:24:41,812 The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show? 385 00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:45,149 Oh. Good! This is the episode where Natasha and Boris have Rocky- 386 00:24:46,276 --> 00:24:48,319 It's an old one, though. I've seen it. Rerun. 387 00:24:48,528 --> 00:24:50,946 We have a few bugs to be worked out, sir... 388 00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:53,407 but I'm sure you'll tell the evaluation committee... 389 00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:55,326 about the wonderful work we're doing in- 390 00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:59,538 Ah-ah-ah. You're chapping your lips on the wrong butt, Mr. Mauser. 391 00:25:00,081 --> 00:25:03,000 I have no say with the evaluation committee. 392 00:25:03,585 --> 00:25:07,129 Besides, I want both academies to look good. 393 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:10,466 Oh, so do I, sir. So do I. 394 00:25:10,675 --> 00:25:13,677 And when may the committee be coming by, sir? 395 00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:18,390 The committee is spending the rest of the week at Lassard's academy. 396 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:23,103 Next week, the Governor has them snooping around the downtown precincts. 397 00:25:23,313 --> 00:25:25,022 So that gives you... 398 00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:28,317 a couple of weeks to perfect your ass-kissing. 399 00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:29,860 That's plenty of time, sir. 400 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:31,946 Hi. 401 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,365 - Two and three. 402 00:25:34,574 --> 00:25:35,783 Ah, Callahan, there you are. 403 00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:38,786 We have to talk to you about this evaluation thing. 404 00:25:38,995 --> 00:25:40,704 I'll see you at my... 405 00:25:42,415 --> 00:25:43,916 [WATER SPLASHING] 406 00:25:44,125 --> 00:25:48,212 And four! And one, and two, and three! 407 00:26:21,788 --> 00:26:23,747 OFFICER: Close there. Whoo! 408 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:31,630 HOOKS: Not only must you know all traffic laws... 409 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,175 you must also master high-speed driving. 410 00:26:35,635 --> 00:26:39,555 Now, we'll begin today with a leisurely spin around the course. 411 00:26:40,223 --> 00:26:42,433 [ENGINE RUNNING] 412 00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:44,143 [TIRES SCREECHING] 413 00:26:44,352 --> 00:26:46,103 MAN: Hey. Watch where you're going, lady! 414 00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:49,148 [ENGINE RUNNING] 415 00:26:49,316 --> 00:26:51,817 [TIRES SCREECHING] 416 00:26:52,027 --> 00:26:55,738 [JONES MIMICKING ENGINE RUNNING THEN TIRES SCREECHING] 417 00:26:55,947 --> 00:26:58,741 [MIMICKING DOG WHIMPERING] 418 00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:02,036 Okay, you can start the car now. 419 00:27:02,245 --> 00:27:04,955 But if I hear any of those things, you've failed. 420 00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:08,292 Oops. Wrong key. I'll be right back. 421 00:27:09,336 --> 00:27:11,045 That's no problem. 422 00:27:14,507 --> 00:27:16,050 [ENGINE STARTING] 423 00:27:16,259 --> 00:27:17,968 [SCREAMS] 424 00:27:21,848 --> 00:27:23,432 Very often in the field... 425 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,934 the dog can be your best friend. 426 00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:27,895 Your most faithful partner. 427 00:27:28,104 --> 00:27:31,148 Oh, I love dogs, and they love me. Hi, boy, hi. 428 00:27:31,983 --> 00:27:33,859 [GASPS] 429 00:27:34,319 --> 00:27:36,153 First... Out. 430 00:27:38,573 --> 00:27:39,615 Thanks. 431 00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:43,243 It is important to develop the master-dog relationship. 432 00:27:43,703 --> 00:27:45,537 If you show any fear... 433 00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:48,332 the dog will not respect you. 434 00:27:49,376 --> 00:27:50,751 - Sweetchuck. - Me? 435 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,754 - Order the dogs to sit. - They won't listen to me. 436 00:27:53,963 --> 00:27:55,798 They will. Come on, try. 437 00:27:57,592 --> 00:27:58,884 Go on, have a seat. 438 00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:00,344 [ALL GASPS] 439 00:28:02,764 --> 00:28:05,391 You've got to show them who's boss. 440 00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:07,643 Sit! 441 00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:18,612 Ha! 442 00:28:20,573 --> 00:28:22,241 At this time... 443 00:28:22,659 --> 00:28:25,619 I would like to introduce to all of you... 444 00:28:25,995 --> 00:28:29,873 my instructor, the man who taught me how to fight. 445 00:28:31,876 --> 00:28:34,253 Please welcome, if you will... 446 00:28:35,046 --> 00:28:36,964 Sgt. John Hurney. 447 00:29:05,702 --> 00:29:07,828 Now, can I have a volunteer? 448 00:29:08,204 --> 00:29:11,832 Can I have a volunteer? Very good, Nogata. 449 00:29:44,157 --> 00:29:45,991 I don't believe it. 450 00:29:49,788 --> 00:29:50,954 [AS DONALD DUCK] Oh, boy! 451 00:29:51,372 --> 00:29:52,706 [LAUGHS] 452 00:29:52,999 --> 00:29:54,124 He's great! 453 00:30:08,473 --> 00:30:10,349 [GRUNTS THEN LAUGHS] 454 00:30:10,558 --> 00:30:12,100 [CLEARS THROAT] 455 00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:17,105 You, uh, have impressive moves for a cadet. 456 00:30:17,732 --> 00:30:18,941 Thank you. 457 00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:23,070 You see, it's a matter of the mind being mightier than the bosom. 458 00:30:26,115 --> 00:30:27,825 Interesting theory. 459 00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:35,541 I said bosom, not sword. 460 00:30:35,750 --> 00:30:37,042 Sounds like a common mistake. 461 00:30:37,252 --> 00:30:42,130 No. I mean no disrespect. It's just that she's so... 462 00:30:43,049 --> 00:30:44,842 Wow. 463 00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:46,802 Wow. What a woman! 464 00:30:47,428 --> 00:30:48,428 [WHISTLES] 465 00:30:48,638 --> 00:30:50,013 Hit the showers! 466 00:30:50,515 --> 00:30:52,099 See what I mean? 467 00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:55,185 TRAINER: Let's go, let's go, let's go. 468 00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:00,065 Ugh! 469 00:31:14,539 --> 00:31:15,956 Miss Macho. 470 00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:23,547 All right, men, it's 2200. 471 00:31:24,382 --> 00:31:26,216 Time to hit the sack. 472 00:31:27,927 --> 00:31:29,219 Let's go. 473 00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:32,389 MAN [ON TV]: You're dead meat, copper! 474 00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,438 Let's move it! 475 00:31:45,695 --> 00:31:48,280 - What time is it? - 3 in the morning. 476 00:31:52,827 --> 00:31:54,036 [ALARM BLARING] 477 00:31:54,245 --> 00:31:57,039 All right, everybody! Everybody up! Let's go! 478 00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:02,044 Outside! 479 00:32:03,630 --> 00:32:04,963 Let's go! 480 00:32:05,173 --> 00:32:08,133 [ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 481 00:32:13,514 --> 00:32:17,517 BLANKS: Come on, you sludge buckets. If I can keep up this pace, so can you. 482 00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:19,394 Let's go, maggots. 483 00:32:19,604 --> 00:32:24,524 A good cop is always prepared. A good cop knows the city streets. 484 00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:28,236 [ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 485 00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:31,156 - Are you gonna be all right, Hedges? NOGATA: He'll be okay. 486 00:32:31,366 --> 00:32:34,326 - Can I help you with anything? NOGATA: No, we're here now. 487 00:32:34,869 --> 00:32:37,955 - Bye, Hedges. - I'll have to be fed intravenously. 488 00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:39,831 Just lie down. 489 00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:48,423 [SCREAMING] 490 00:32:51,427 --> 00:32:52,928 What is this? 491 00:32:53,137 --> 00:32:55,847 It's my bed. I pick up in New Delhi. 492 00:32:56,057 --> 00:32:59,059 Posture-o-pedic. Very good for back. 493 00:33:01,771 --> 00:33:05,732 [SWEETCHUCK SCATTING] 494 00:33:10,613 --> 00:33:12,656 Hello? Hello? 495 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,617 Who is that? 496 00:33:15,827 --> 00:33:17,661 What-? Who is it? Don't- 497 00:33:17,870 --> 00:33:19,955 [SCREAMING] 498 00:33:21,624 --> 00:33:24,292 Do you want to, like, borrow my shampoo? 499 00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:27,629 [SWEETCHUCK SCREAMING] 500 00:33:31,467 --> 00:33:32,634 [GASPS] 501 00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:35,220 Freeze! Identify yourself. 502 00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:36,805 It's me, Mr. Sweetchuck. 503 00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:40,100 You look like a man who's going AWOL to me, mister. 504 00:33:40,309 --> 00:33:43,895 Yeah, I am. I'm tired of having a roommate that's an animal! 505 00:33:44,105 --> 00:33:46,773 I was happier when I was at home getting mugged! 506 00:33:46,983 --> 00:33:50,193 You look me in the eye and tell me you're quitting! 507 00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:52,904 Hey. 508 00:33:53,114 --> 00:33:55,365 Don't worry. I'll take care of you. 509 00:33:56,159 --> 00:33:58,035 You give me a chance... 510 00:33:58,619 --> 00:34:00,620 and I'll make you into a man. 511 00:34:01,789 --> 00:34:03,623 Even if it kills you. 512 00:34:03,791 --> 00:34:05,792 [FLY BUZZING] 513 00:34:10,631 --> 00:34:13,008 Feel good? Let's go. 514 00:34:17,764 --> 00:34:18,972 Sergeant. 515 00:34:33,946 --> 00:34:36,198 A good kick may be all that stands... 516 00:34:36,407 --> 00:34:39,159 between you and the excruciating pain... 517 00:34:39,368 --> 00:34:43,371 of a. 357 magnum slug shredding your vital organs. 518 00:34:44,415 --> 00:34:46,333 Fackler! You're up. 519 00:34:50,296 --> 00:34:51,671 Yay. 520 00:34:51,881 --> 00:34:53,507 [GROANS] 521 00:34:54,342 --> 00:34:55,634 CALLAHAN: Kirkland! 522 00:35:04,727 --> 00:35:07,395 [CLICKING] 523 00:35:09,857 --> 00:35:11,024 CALLAHAN: Zed! 524 00:35:16,072 --> 00:35:18,323 [SCREAMING] 525 00:35:19,992 --> 00:35:22,369 CALLAHAN: Sweetchuck! - Sweetchuck, what's the word? 526 00:35:22,578 --> 00:35:23,954 - Kill. - Let me hear it again. 527 00:35:24,163 --> 00:35:25,914 - Kill. - Now go for it! 528 00:35:27,708 --> 00:35:29,251 [YELLS] 529 00:35:29,919 --> 00:35:31,461 [THUDDING] 530 00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:36,591 MAUSER: Whose bright idea was it to meet here? 531 00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:38,635 It was my bright idea. 532 00:35:39,178 --> 00:35:42,097 This is some beautiful view, isn't it, sir? 533 00:35:42,765 --> 00:35:46,476 The twinkling lights of the city, stars in the heavens... 534 00:35:46,686 --> 00:35:48,395 the moon in the sky. 535 00:35:48,896 --> 00:35:52,649 And Mr. Sandman flying from rooftop to rooftop. 536 00:35:52,859 --> 00:35:53,942 Where? 537 00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:56,027 What the hell is that? 538 00:35:56,362 --> 00:35:59,656 Give me this damn thing. Well, how'd it go? 539 00:35:59,866 --> 00:36:02,117 The committee knew right away we were hopeless. 540 00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:03,368 Good. 541 00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:07,164 Now, I want you guys to take the cadets downtown... 542 00:36:07,373 --> 00:36:08,415 for some fieldwork. 543 00:36:08,624 --> 00:36:12,127 We can't do that. Cadets don't go into the field till after their tenth week. 544 00:36:12,336 --> 00:36:15,881 - They're not ready for anything like that. - I know that, you moron. 545 00:36:16,090 --> 00:36:20,802 That's the whole idea. Next week, the evaluation committee is gonna be there. 546 00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:23,972 - Oh, I get it, sir. - I doubt it. 547 00:36:24,182 --> 00:36:26,391 Heh. Sorry, sir. 548 00:36:27,268 --> 00:36:30,228 I'm gonna be there when Lassard's guys screw up. 549 00:36:30,438 --> 00:36:33,440 You guys make sure they screw up. Get it? 550 00:36:33,649 --> 00:36:34,689 - Yes, sir. MAUSER: Get it? 551 00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:35,859 - Yeah. - Good. 552 00:36:37,570 --> 00:36:40,572 [CROWD YELLING INDISTINCTLY] 553 00:36:54,545 --> 00:36:56,213 Punch him! Punch him! 554 00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:03,511 One, two, three, four. 555 00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:05,972 [BELL RINGS] 556 00:37:06,766 --> 00:37:09,309 That's great. He's looking tired. Good. 557 00:37:09,518 --> 00:37:11,353 Your legs are rubbery. 558 00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:18,735 - Knock him out. Let me hear you say it. - Knock him out. 559 00:37:19,528 --> 00:37:22,364 [BELL RINGS AND ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY] 560 00:37:22,990 --> 00:37:24,282 Come on, come on! 561 00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:29,496 [ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY] 562 00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:47,847 What are you doing? 563 00:37:48,057 --> 00:37:51,685 That's not the way I taught you to hit. You gotta hit like this. Like this! 564 00:37:51,894 --> 00:37:53,395 Now, hit him! 565 00:37:54,438 --> 00:37:56,564 [CHEERING] 566 00:37:56,774 --> 00:37:57,816 [YELLING INDISTINCTLY] 567 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,946 [BOOING AND BELL RINGING] 568 00:38:03,155 --> 00:38:05,407 [BELL CONTINUES RINGING] 569 00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:10,370 [BELL CONTINUES RINGING] 570 00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:22,132 The eyewitness is still the main source of convictions. 571 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:26,720 Mr. Miller, I want you to take your time. Study these men very carefully. 572 00:38:27,013 --> 00:38:29,931 Then tell us if you see the man who robbed your store. 573 00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:31,850 Let me reassure you, Mr. Miller... 574 00:38:32,059 --> 00:38:35,312 the suspects cannot see you when it's dark in here. 575 00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:39,607 Well, Mr. Miller? Is he there? 576 00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:41,844 MILLER: You sure they can't see me? 577 00:38:41,986 --> 00:38:44,237 My wife said they'd see me, and not to do this. 578 00:38:44,447 --> 00:38:47,282 OFFICER: Mr. Miller, bright lights in there... 579 00:38:47,491 --> 00:38:51,286 dark in here. He can't see us. Do you see him? 580 00:38:52,955 --> 00:38:54,914 Bringing cadets into the field this early... 581 00:38:55,124 --> 00:38:57,417 has all the makings of one of your lousy ideas. 582 00:38:57,626 --> 00:39:00,003 What's the matter, Mahoney? No faith in the cadets? 583 00:39:00,212 --> 00:39:02,589 How hard can it be, Miller? Is he there or isn't he? 584 00:39:02,798 --> 00:39:06,176 I don't know. He really didn't steal that much. 585 00:39:06,552 --> 00:39:09,179 Well, the hospital stay was quite restful. 586 00:39:09,722 --> 00:39:11,264 I wish I'd listened to my wife. 587 00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:15,518 For God's sake, Miller, will you take your balls out of your wife's purse... 588 00:39:15,728 --> 00:39:17,562 and finger the dirt bag? 589 00:39:18,105 --> 00:39:19,356 It's him! 590 00:39:20,066 --> 00:39:23,318 - Come on, you son of a bitch! I'll kill you! - No, it's him. 591 00:39:23,527 --> 00:39:25,278 He's the one, the priest. 592 00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:27,655 [MOUTHING INDISTINCTLY] 593 00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:32,285 [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 594 00:39:32,495 --> 00:39:35,663 Sir, honestly, we had no idea the evaluation committee would be here. 595 00:39:35,873 --> 00:39:37,874 We thought it would help advance the training. 596 00:39:38,084 --> 00:39:41,002 - What do you mean, we? - It was a lousy idea. 597 00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:45,423 Now I've got a bunch trainees hanging around with this damn committee! 598 00:39:46,550 --> 00:39:49,969 I've been, like, noticing you, and you're a nice enough lady... 599 00:39:50,179 --> 00:39:51,971 but you're too tense. 600 00:39:52,181 --> 00:39:54,641 You got to relax. You got to calm down. 601 00:39:55,142 --> 00:39:57,769 [YELLING] 602 00:40:00,564 --> 00:40:03,566 You take the big guy, I'll take the little guy. 603 00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:05,402 MAN 1: We got a cop. 604 00:40:05,986 --> 00:40:08,905 [CHEERING] 605 00:40:14,286 --> 00:40:16,579 No sweat. This is my old gang. 606 00:40:16,789 --> 00:40:18,164 [ALL SCREAMING] 607 00:40:18,374 --> 00:40:22,335 Would you like to go out to grab a burger and then go to the movies or something? 608 00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:27,132 I'd like to introduce you guys to the future Mrs. Zed! 609 00:40:27,341 --> 00:40:29,217 [ALL SCREAMING] 610 00:40:49,363 --> 00:40:51,656 [BOY COUGHING] 611 00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:53,032 Hey, son. 612 00:40:53,784 --> 00:40:55,910 - Excuse me, Officer. - Yes, ma'am? 613 00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:58,538 We are sitting in the nonsmoking section... 614 00:40:58,747 --> 00:41:02,375 and that man refuses to put out his cigar. 615 00:41:04,253 --> 00:41:06,504 I'll take care of this, ma'am. 616 00:41:06,881 --> 00:41:08,715 Excuse me, sir. 617 00:41:09,091 --> 00:41:13,386 You're sitting in a nonsmoking area. Would you please extinguish that cigar? 618 00:41:13,596 --> 00:41:15,722 Drop dead. I'll put it out when I'm finished. 619 00:41:15,931 --> 00:41:18,099 You'll put it out now, mister! 620 00:41:25,232 --> 00:41:29,986 [INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO] 621 00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:34,324 HOOKS: Hit it! 622 00:41:35,451 --> 00:41:36,826 Now, go get him! 623 00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:43,249 [SIREN WAILING] 624 00:41:48,297 --> 00:41:50,673 - Hurry up! - I'm trying. I'm going as fast- 625 00:41:50,883 --> 00:41:51,883 HOOKS: Drive! MRS. FACKLER: Aah! 626 00:41:52,092 --> 00:41:53,259 [SCREAMING] 627 00:41:54,803 --> 00:41:56,304 [SCREAMING] 628 00:42:04,438 --> 00:42:05,730 [CRASHING AND GLASS BREAKING] 629 00:42:13,906 --> 00:42:16,199 MRS. FACKLER: Will this count against us, sir? 630 00:42:19,119 --> 00:42:23,331 You know, I've been here at the academy many wonderful years... 631 00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:25,458 and I'm very fond of it. 632 00:42:26,752 --> 00:42:29,254 - The new cadets are doing well? JONES & CALLAHAN: Yes, sir. 633 00:42:29,463 --> 00:42:33,508 - We are going to succeed now, aren't we? JONES & CALLAHAN: Yes, sir. 634 00:42:33,759 --> 00:42:35,760 Good. Good, good. 635 00:42:39,181 --> 00:42:41,307 [CASH REGISTER BEEPING] 636 00:42:43,018 --> 00:42:44,769 [JONES MIMICKING BEEPING] 637 00:42:45,479 --> 00:42:47,730 [CASH REGISTER BEEPING] 638 00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:52,360 [JONES MIMICKING BEEPING] 639 00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:54,821 [JONES MIMICKING ALARM] 640 00:42:56,657 --> 00:43:00,785 One more ping out of you, Jonesey, I'll tape your lips permanently together. 641 00:43:01,203 --> 00:43:02,203 [JONES BEEPING] 642 00:43:02,413 --> 00:43:03,997 Hey, Jon- 643 00:43:04,206 --> 00:43:05,873 [ALL LAUGHING] 644 00:43:06,083 --> 00:43:07,667 MAHONEY: Listen, everybody. 645 00:43:07,876 --> 00:43:11,212 I want you to forget today. You don't have to be ready for the field yet. 646 00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:14,048 - We sure proved that. - It wasn't a total loss. 647 00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:15,883 Of course it wasn't. 648 00:43:16,093 --> 00:43:19,012 One police car and two civilian cars completely totaled... 649 00:43:19,221 --> 00:43:20,680 three citizens' complaints... 650 00:43:20,889 --> 00:43:24,434 two members of the evaluation committee under heavy sedation. 651 00:43:24,643 --> 00:43:27,312 I wouldn't call it a total loss, would you? No. 652 00:43:27,521 --> 00:43:30,857 Bartender, how about some champagne for me and my associate? 653 00:43:31,066 --> 00:43:33,568 We're celebrating. Come on, Proctor. 654 00:43:37,197 --> 00:43:39,407 - Let's just get out of here. - No. 655 00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:41,909 [JONES BEEPING] 656 00:43:46,498 --> 00:43:48,833 Boy, that's a waste of champagne, sir. 657 00:43:49,043 --> 00:43:51,377 Now, what is that crack supposed to mean, Mahoney? 658 00:43:51,587 --> 00:43:55,381 It means we don't think you can tell the difference between beer and champagne. 659 00:43:55,591 --> 00:43:57,425 [MAUSER LAUGHING] 660 00:43:57,635 --> 00:43:59,719 You know something? You two are brain dead. 661 00:43:59,928 --> 00:44:02,013 Oh. Bet you can't. Loser pays. 662 00:44:02,681 --> 00:44:05,933 - You're on, Mahoney. - Can I have a beer in the same glass? 663 00:44:06,143 --> 00:44:08,019 - Mind if we blindfold you, sir? - Why? 664 00:44:08,228 --> 00:44:10,104 - We wouldn't want you to peek. - Right. 665 00:44:10,314 --> 00:44:12,482 - See anything? Huh? - No. 666 00:44:12,691 --> 00:44:13,900 - Sure? - No, I can't see. 667 00:44:14,109 --> 00:44:17,236 Okay. Round and round and guess the drink. 668 00:44:24,536 --> 00:44:26,412 - Champagne! - Oh! 669 00:44:26,622 --> 00:44:28,331 You win! He always wins! 670 00:44:28,540 --> 00:44:29,749 [MAUSER LAUGHING] 671 00:44:29,958 --> 00:44:32,585 All right, we'll pay up. Let's get out of here. 672 00:44:32,795 --> 00:44:35,672 - You two jerks. - You really showed them, sir. 673 00:44:40,052 --> 00:44:41,844 - Proctor. - Yes, sir? 674 00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:44,972 Oh. Give me a hand with this. Take it off. 675 00:44:45,849 --> 00:44:48,851 No, don't go slow. Go fast, so it doesn't hurt. 676 00:44:50,145 --> 00:44:52,647 [MAUSER SCREAMS] 677 00:44:52,856 --> 00:44:55,650 That hurt. Am I okay? 678 00:44:55,859 --> 00:44:58,695 It's nice. There's a mirror right here, sir. 679 00:45:01,115 --> 00:45:02,699 I got no eyebrows. 680 00:45:03,826 --> 00:45:06,619 - Where are my eyebrows? - Right here, sir. 681 00:45:08,664 --> 00:45:11,499 - This is going very well. MAUSER: Yeah? 682 00:45:11,667 --> 00:45:15,086 Oh, yeah. That's great. It's coming. 683 00:45:15,921 --> 00:45:19,132 That's great. That's nice. You're gonna like that, sir. 684 00:45:19,341 --> 00:45:20,425 Let me see it. 685 00:45:21,051 --> 00:45:24,053 Look at that. Look at this, this angle over here, every angle. 686 00:45:24,263 --> 00:45:26,389 MAUSER: I can't see it! - It's yours. 687 00:45:28,350 --> 00:45:29,892 [CLEARS THROAT] 688 00:45:30,102 --> 00:45:32,603 So, what do you think, sir? 689 00:45:33,397 --> 00:45:34,605 I think I like it. 690 00:45:35,065 --> 00:45:37,400 LASSARD: Commissioner Hurst was very upset. 691 00:45:38,026 --> 00:45:41,946 He used many bad words to describe our academy. 692 00:45:42,156 --> 00:45:43,573 Some were even foreign. 693 00:45:43,782 --> 00:45:46,617 Italian or Irish, I think. 694 00:45:48,537 --> 00:45:51,205 This is survival of the fittest... 695 00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:53,833 and after what happened downtown... 696 00:45:54,042 --> 00:45:55,460 it seems we're not very fit. 697 00:45:55,669 --> 00:45:59,756 - Sir, you're not giving up, are you? - Of course not. 698 00:46:00,132 --> 00:46:02,925 I have no doubt we shall be victorious. 699 00:46:03,635 --> 00:46:08,598 Well, I have a little doubt, but, basically, I'm an optimist. 700 00:46:08,807 --> 00:46:12,935 Now, I know the committee will be observing us here... 701 00:46:14,438 --> 00:46:18,316 and in the field, and at the Police persons Ball... 702 00:46:18,776 --> 00:46:22,069 so we must do nothing to dishonor the uniform. 703 00:46:25,908 --> 00:46:28,367 - What was I saying? ALL [IN UNISON]: Dismissed! 704 00:46:28,577 --> 00:46:29,660 Right. 705 00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:34,707 HOOKS: This map will pinpoint trouble spots... 706 00:46:34,917 --> 00:46:37,335 over a 10-square-mile area. 707 00:46:38,170 --> 00:46:41,964 This dispatch unit has a 200-mile range... 708 00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:45,343 and a computerized city grid. 709 00:46:45,552 --> 00:46:49,305 This computerized city grid tracks police vehicle movement. 710 00:46:50,224 --> 00:46:52,892 - Is that clear, everyone? ALL: Yes, ma'am! 711 00:46:53,101 --> 00:46:54,560 Yeah, why not? 712 00:46:56,980 --> 00:46:58,523 HIGHTOWER: In tear gas training... 713 00:46:58,732 --> 00:47:01,025 the manual says you should have your mask on. 714 00:47:01,235 --> 00:47:05,238 Be out of here 30 seconds after the canister comes through the window. 715 00:47:05,447 --> 00:47:06,864 Any questions? 716 00:47:08,450 --> 00:47:09,742 Good luck. 717 00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:23,881 - Nice throw, Hightower. - It went in, didn't it? 718 00:47:28,011 --> 00:47:29,762 All right, everybody out! 719 00:47:35,060 --> 00:47:37,603 Everybody present and accounted for? 720 00:47:37,855 --> 00:47:39,772 [ZED SCREAMS] 721 00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:46,362 I feel good. I'll be in there if you need me. 722 00:47:46,572 --> 00:47:48,447 [ZED SCREAMING] 723 00:47:49,199 --> 00:47:51,576 [ZED CONTINUES SCREAMING] 724 00:47:52,035 --> 00:47:54,829 Look, I know you people have had a tough week... 725 00:47:55,038 --> 00:47:57,164 but there's something you should know. 726 00:47:57,374 --> 00:48:00,501 You may be the last class to attend this academy. 727 00:48:01,003 --> 00:48:04,881 I don't know if this means anything to you, but it sure does to us. 728 00:48:05,424 --> 00:48:09,135 That's why, we not only want you to keep up the good work... 729 00:48:09,344 --> 00:48:10,970 we want you to work harder. 730 00:48:11,179 --> 00:48:12,972 Because we think that you people... 731 00:48:13,181 --> 00:48:15,308 can be the best class this academy has ever seen. 732 00:48:15,517 --> 00:48:17,518 You can do it. Believe me. 733 00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:19,645 Once, even I was a screw-up. 734 00:48:20,105 --> 00:48:23,566 Let's go out there and win one for Comdt. Lassard, okay? 735 00:48:23,775 --> 00:48:25,860 Okay? Yeah, come on. 736 00:48:26,904 --> 00:48:29,363 CADET 1: Okay. Yeah. 737 00:48:29,907 --> 00:48:31,532 Attention! 738 00:48:32,492 --> 00:48:33,701 Dismissed. 739 00:48:35,078 --> 00:48:36,454 Did you hear that? 740 00:48:36,663 --> 00:48:39,707 No? Of course not. How silly of me to ask. 741 00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:42,168 You're too far from the window. 742 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:46,589 - Look sharp, Mahoney. - Right. 743 00:48:46,798 --> 00:48:48,215 - Sgt. Mahoney. - Yeah. 744 00:48:48,425 --> 00:48:50,718 - I was really impressed by what you said. - Oh. 745 00:48:51,094 --> 00:48:52,470 You really care. 746 00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:55,681 Yeah. Just don't spread it around. It might ruin my rep. 747 00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:59,685 I owe you an apology for the way I acted. You were just trying to be cute. 748 00:48:59,895 --> 00:49:04,774 Trying? On a cuteness scale of one to 10, I'm an eight. 749 00:49:04,983 --> 00:49:07,109 - Five. - You're right, I am a five. 750 00:49:07,444 --> 00:49:10,780 Listen, I'll accept your apology if you accept mine. 751 00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:13,699 - Deal. - All right. You know something? 752 00:49:13,909 --> 00:49:17,161 Have you ever felt, after meeting someone for 10 minutes... 753 00:49:17,371 --> 00:49:20,039 - you've known them for two, three years? - No. 754 00:49:20,248 --> 00:49:23,084 - Oh. - Aah! Mahoney. 755 00:49:23,460 --> 00:49:25,753 - Thanks, Mahoney. - Welcome, sir. 756 00:49:26,505 --> 00:49:29,507 [JONES BEAT-BOXING] 757 00:49:46,316 --> 00:49:47,608 [KNOCKS ON DOOR] 758 00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:51,862 Excuse, please. Shall I come back when all is well with your mind? 759 00:49:52,823 --> 00:49:56,283 My mind is as well as it gets, but you look a little tense. 760 00:49:56,994 --> 00:50:00,162 You see, I have great confusions... 761 00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:03,249 about Sgt. Callahan. 762 00:50:04,751 --> 00:50:05,960 [JONES SIGHS] 763 00:50:06,169 --> 00:50:08,504 You've come to the right place, brother. 764 00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:12,508 Grab yourself pad and pencil because... 765 00:50:13,260 --> 00:50:16,345 [IN DEEP VOICE] the love doctor is about to speak. 766 00:50:19,266 --> 00:50:20,975 Yo! 767 00:50:29,776 --> 00:50:31,694 In my country, it is written... 768 00:50:31,903 --> 00:50:35,156 only kiss of beautiful woman... 769 00:50:35,741 --> 00:50:39,660 can compare to petal of a rose... 770 00:50:42,164 --> 00:50:43,247 babe. 771 00:50:49,004 --> 00:50:51,547 In America, talk is cheap. 772 00:50:56,553 --> 00:50:58,721 I love America. 773 00:51:01,933 --> 00:51:04,935 [DANCE PLAYING OVER SPEAKER] 774 00:51:26,416 --> 00:51:29,919 Hey. Hi, there. Remember me? 775 00:51:32,047 --> 00:51:35,049 Ah, yes, of course. How could I forget? 776 00:51:35,258 --> 00:51:36,717 Who was that? 777 00:51:37,177 --> 00:51:38,928 Just an old friend. 778 00:51:39,471 --> 00:51:42,848 Why are we celebrating? It's Mauser, 42. Lassard, zip. 779 00:51:43,058 --> 00:51:44,475 You think we're doing that well? 780 00:51:44,684 --> 00:51:47,728 - Mahoney. - Oh. 781 00:51:47,938 --> 00:51:50,606 How's tricks? Not to worry. 782 00:51:50,816 --> 00:51:52,441 Oh. 783 00:51:52,651 --> 00:51:55,111 Your friend forgot to wear her "for rent" sign. 784 00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:59,406 Oh. She's such a sweet kid. My aerobics instructor. 785 00:52:00,826 --> 00:52:05,246 Mahoney, see this ear? It's a finely tuned crap detector. 786 00:52:05,455 --> 00:52:09,458 Oh. And a lovely ear it is. If I blow in it, will you follow me anywhere? 787 00:52:09,876 --> 00:52:13,504 Well, I'm surprised you had the nerve to show up... 788 00:52:13,713 --> 00:52:16,632 after your cadets humiliated the Police Department. 789 00:52:16,842 --> 00:52:19,009 Personally, it makes me sick. 790 00:52:19,386 --> 00:52:22,638 How about you guys? Don't you guys think... 791 00:52:25,308 --> 00:52:27,143 Coming, Commissioner. 792 00:52:28,770 --> 00:52:30,354 [MAHONEY CHUCKLES] 793 00:52:30,814 --> 00:52:32,982 Will you think less of me if I call him a slime bucket? 794 00:52:33,150 --> 00:52:37,069 Mm-mm. In fact, I'll have my aerobics instructor confirm it. I'll be right back. 795 00:52:38,697 --> 00:52:40,447 Hey. 796 00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:44,785 - So how you doing? - Terrific. I need one of your special favors. 797 00:52:45,162 --> 00:52:47,705 - Right here? - Mm-mm-mm. 798 00:52:54,129 --> 00:52:58,090 Oh. I just love a man that eats shrimp that way. 799 00:52:58,300 --> 00:53:00,759 - You do? - Oh, yes. 800 00:53:01,845 --> 00:53:03,012 Come on. 801 00:53:05,599 --> 00:53:09,351 - How does he do that? - The question is, why does he do that? 802 00:53:10,020 --> 00:53:12,354 It is a power of the mind. 803 00:53:29,664 --> 00:53:31,040 [SCREAMS] 804 00:53:31,541 --> 00:53:33,292 [SCREAMS] 805 00:53:36,046 --> 00:53:37,129 Allow me. 806 00:53:37,339 --> 00:53:40,382 What kind of idiot klutz are you? 807 00:53:41,384 --> 00:53:42,968 Come on, dumpling. 808 00:53:43,178 --> 00:53:46,889 I witnessed the entire attack, sir. My apologies, Mrs. Hurst. 809 00:53:47,098 --> 00:53:51,185 May I say Copeland is not one of my cadets. He is a member of Lassard's staff. 810 00:53:51,394 --> 00:53:55,105 You look different, Mauser. Are you putting on weight? 811 00:53:55,607 --> 00:53:57,942 Come on, dumpling. We'll get you cleaned up. 812 00:53:58,151 --> 00:54:02,071 That's Lassard's staff, sir. Send me the cleaning bill on that, sir. 813 00:54:12,707 --> 00:54:14,541 You want the last shrimp? 814 00:54:15,168 --> 00:54:19,255 - There's only one thing that I want. - What? I'll call room service. 815 00:54:19,464 --> 00:54:21,006 Don't be silly. 816 00:54:21,591 --> 00:54:25,844 What I want is for you to wait in there, in the bathroom... 817 00:54:26,054 --> 00:54:27,346 while I get ready. 818 00:54:27,555 --> 00:54:30,099 - Why can't I wait in here? - We just met. 819 00:54:30,308 --> 00:54:33,185 Come on, can't a girl be a little bit old-fashioned? 820 00:54:33,395 --> 00:54:36,730 I'll call you just as soon as I'm ready. 821 00:54:39,776 --> 00:54:41,860 Come on, it's kind of drafty. 822 00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:44,780 I'll get some help. 823 00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:47,866 A little patience. I'll be out in a minute. 824 00:54:48,368 --> 00:54:50,744 Hurry up. Somebody wants to use the... 825 00:54:54,457 --> 00:54:57,459 Come on, let me in! Hurry up! 826 00:54:59,796 --> 00:55:02,256 OLD LADY: You should be ashamed of yourself. 827 00:55:04,467 --> 00:55:06,635 I'll make up your room in a minute. 828 00:55:07,470 --> 00:55:09,388 MAID: Where you going with my cart? 829 00:55:09,681 --> 00:55:12,057 - My cart. - Let me borrow it. 830 00:55:12,267 --> 00:55:13,976 I'm a police officer- 831 00:55:15,020 --> 00:55:16,353 It's mine. 832 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,189 MAN 1: What's this? 833 00:55:19,899 --> 00:55:22,276 [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 834 00:55:22,485 --> 00:55:24,987 Hi. Warm tonight. 835 00:55:26,698 --> 00:55:28,282 How's it going? 836 00:55:34,205 --> 00:55:35,789 PROCTOR: Aah! Ow! 837 00:55:36,124 --> 00:55:39,918 [BAND PLAYING "TEAM THING"] 838 00:55:57,020 --> 00:56:00,606 [SINGING] It's a comfort And a strange kind of notion 839 00:56:00,815 --> 00:56:04,068 Knowing that you got complete devotion 840 00:56:04,277 --> 00:56:07,363 To feel no matter what's the problem 841 00:56:07,572 --> 00:56:10,282 Together we can solve it 842 00:56:10,492 --> 00:56:13,619 It's a team thing, it takes two 843 00:56:13,828 --> 00:56:17,206 It's all the time me, all the time you 844 00:56:17,415 --> 00:56:20,167 It's a team thing I'm talking about 845 00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:23,420 It's a team thing all the way out 846 00:56:23,630 --> 00:56:27,341 It goes like this now Oo-oo shoo-bee-do-doo-bee 847 00:56:27,634 --> 00:56:31,011 Oo-oo shoo-bee-do-doo-bee 848 00:56:31,221 --> 00:56:34,264 Oo-oo shoo-bee-do-doo-bee 849 00:56:34,474 --> 00:56:37,559 No one could ever make me doubt you 850 00:56:37,769 --> 00:56:41,814 They know I care too much About my baby 851 00:56:42,023 --> 00:56:44,900 It's a team thing, it takes two 852 00:56:45,652 --> 00:56:48,695 It's all the time me, all the time you 853 00:56:48,905 --> 00:56:52,116 It's a team thing I'm talking about 854 00:56:52,325 --> 00:56:55,577 It's a team thing all the way out 855 00:56:55,787 --> 00:56:58,747 It's a team thing, it takes two 856 00:56:58,957 --> 00:57:02,668 It's all the time me, all the time you 857 00:57:02,877 --> 00:57:05,295 It's a team thing I'm talking about 858 00:57:05,505 --> 00:57:08,841 It's a team thing all the way out 859 00:57:09,050 --> 00:57:12,344 It's a team thing, it takes two 860 00:57:13,012 --> 00:57:16,140 - hands him the ticket, and the driver said- 861 00:57:16,349 --> 00:57:19,852 Ha-ha-ha. That's real funny, sir. Great joke teller, the Commissioner. 862 00:57:20,061 --> 00:57:22,187 Are you enjoying yourselves? Are you comfortable? 863 00:57:22,397 --> 00:57:24,857 Waiter, round of drinks. On me. 864 00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:27,443 Drinks are free, you idiot. 865 00:57:27,652 --> 00:57:30,821 Oh. Yes, sir. How stupid of me. 866 00:57:31,030 --> 00:57:33,198 If you don't mind my saying so, Mrs. Hurst... 867 00:57:33,408 --> 00:57:36,326 that fruit punch stain dried real nicely. 868 00:57:36,536 --> 00:57:38,662 [MAUSER LAUGHING] 869 00:57:38,872 --> 00:57:41,915 You are not going to influence this evaluation committee. 870 00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:45,043 So will you please stop all this slobbering? 871 00:57:45,253 --> 00:57:49,298 Sir, I think I can get it under control if I could only find out who's winning. 872 00:57:49,507 --> 00:57:55,137 Well, let's just say that Lassard's cadets have not exactly impressed them. 873 00:57:55,972 --> 00:57:57,890 Thank you very much, sir. 874 00:57:58,099 --> 00:57:59,850 Get hold of yourself, man. 875 00:58:01,352 --> 00:58:04,062 Good Lord! You're falling apart. 876 00:58:07,025 --> 00:58:09,568 - Excuse me. Commissioner? - What the hell do you want? 877 00:58:09,777 --> 00:58:12,571 We've had reports of a naked man terrorizing the hotel. 878 00:58:12,780 --> 00:58:15,157 He's obviously not at this table. 879 00:58:15,366 --> 00:58:17,075 - Mauser! - Yes, sir. 880 00:58:17,285 --> 00:58:19,453 Would you take care of this naked person? 881 00:58:19,662 --> 00:58:22,039 Naked person, yes, sir! I'll get right on top of him! 882 00:58:22,248 --> 00:58:23,582 Proctor! 883 00:58:45,021 --> 00:58:46,438 [ENGINE STARTS] 884 00:58:46,606 --> 00:58:48,065 [LAUGHS] 885 00:58:55,865 --> 00:58:57,241 [LAUGHING] 886 00:58:57,450 --> 00:59:03,288 Well, glad to see you enjoying yourselves, men, despite the bad news. 887 00:59:03,498 --> 00:59:05,040 Bad news? There's been bad news? 888 00:59:05,250 --> 00:59:09,211 Well, bad news for you, good news for me. 889 00:59:09,921 --> 00:59:12,214 Your cadets have been doing their usual fine job... 890 00:59:12,423 --> 00:59:15,300 so it looks like I've got this one in the bag. 891 00:59:15,510 --> 00:59:19,304 Congratulations! I'm so happy when someone I know wins. 892 00:59:19,514 --> 00:59:22,224 I always think these contests are fixed. 893 00:59:22,767 --> 00:59:24,101 Wait a minute. 894 00:59:24,519 --> 00:59:28,689 - If you're winning, then... - You're losing. Ha, ha. 895 00:59:28,898 --> 00:59:30,732 Sorry to spoil your fun. 896 00:59:32,402 --> 00:59:34,736 - It's not fair. - Any ideas? 897 00:59:34,946 --> 00:59:38,699 I could twist off Mauser's shiny head and roll it down the street. 898 00:59:39,450 --> 00:59:41,660 Hold that thought, Hightower. 899 00:59:50,295 --> 00:59:52,546 [ENGINE STALLING] 900 00:59:52,755 --> 00:59:54,423 Come on. Damn it! 901 00:59:54,632 --> 00:59:56,800 [ENGINE STALLING] 902 01:00:16,112 --> 01:00:17,571 Oh. 903 01:00:39,594 --> 01:00:42,387 [PANTING] 904 01:00:42,597 --> 01:00:45,349 [JEAN-MARC DOMPIERRE AND HIS ORCHESTRA'S "EL BIMBO" PLAYING] 905 01:00:54,567 --> 01:00:57,819 [CROWD APPLAUDING] 906 01:00:58,404 --> 01:01:00,364 Governor, Commissioner- 907 01:01:00,698 --> 01:01:02,199 MAHONEY: Ladies and gentlemen... 908 01:01:02,408 --> 01:01:07,287 may I introduce you to a very special man, Comdt. Mauser. 909 01:01:07,830 --> 01:01:11,208 As you know, the committee's been evaluating both of our academies... 910 01:01:11,417 --> 01:01:13,210 and they're very close to a decision. 911 01:01:13,419 --> 01:01:15,253 And you know what this man said about that? 912 01:01:15,463 --> 01:01:16,963 It's a fact... 913 01:01:17,173 --> 01:01:18,840 It's a "facahamahoma." 914 01:01:19,050 --> 01:01:20,717 Does this man have a way with words? 915 01:01:20,927 --> 01:01:24,471 He said you can't judge an academy by rushing its cadets out into the field... 916 01:01:24,681 --> 01:01:27,641 or by seeing whose cadets marched the straightest, no. 917 01:01:27,850 --> 01:01:31,645 Do you know what the man, I like to call "Mr. Policeman," said? 918 01:01:31,854 --> 01:01:34,773 "Forget any mistakes cadets have made over the last few weeks." 919 01:01:34,982 --> 01:01:36,108 They were just learning. 920 01:01:36,317 --> 01:01:39,820 "It's these last days of competition that should determine the winner." 921 01:01:40,029 --> 01:01:42,948 Comdt. Mauser, I salute you. 922 01:01:43,533 --> 01:01:45,200 We all salute you! 923 01:01:45,410 --> 01:01:47,536 [ALL CHEERING] 924 01:01:55,294 --> 01:01:58,296 [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] 925 01:02:03,094 --> 01:02:06,763 HURST: This is the final day of the evaluation competition... 926 01:02:07,390 --> 01:02:11,143 and though Comdt. Mauser's academy is in the lead... 927 01:02:11,436 --> 01:02:16,314 it's how you perform today that will determine our winner. 928 01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:20,193 Police personnel will monitor your performance... 929 01:02:20,403 --> 01:02:22,070 at crime locations. 930 01:02:22,780 --> 01:02:27,534 My advice is to treat this exactly as if it were real. 931 01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:29,911 Attention! 932 01:02:31,205 --> 01:02:32,539 Dismissed! 933 01:02:34,208 --> 01:02:38,170 [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 934 01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:43,175 I'm going to accompany the Governor to the charity regatta. 935 01:02:43,384 --> 01:02:45,761 He wants one cadet from each academy to go with us. 936 01:02:45,970 --> 01:02:47,220 But the competition, sir. 937 01:02:47,430 --> 01:02:52,142 The Governor thought it would be nice to evaluate cadets in a social situation. 938 01:02:54,103 --> 01:02:56,855 Proctor, what is this? Hurst said one from each academy. 939 01:02:57,064 --> 01:02:59,900 They're just as good as one man, almost. 940 01:03:06,866 --> 01:03:10,577 The phone's got my quarter and the operator won't give it back to me. 941 01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:12,454 I'll handle this, ma'am. 942 01:03:13,539 --> 01:03:16,541 - Operator, this is Sgt. Tackleberry. OPERATOR: So? 943 01:03:16,751 --> 01:03:20,921 - Please relinquish this lady's quarter. OPERATOR: I told her we'll send her a refund. 944 01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:22,672 You'll pay her now! 945 01:03:22,882 --> 01:03:25,467 OPERATOR: I'm sorry, sir, would you like to speak to-? 946 01:03:26,093 --> 01:03:27,803 Stand back, ma'am. 947 01:03:37,021 --> 01:03:39,231 Can you identify your quarter, ma'am? 948 01:03:42,485 --> 01:03:45,862 MRS. FACKLER: Sgt. Hooks, we got a 10-48 in Sector 1. 949 01:03:46,072 --> 01:03:47,405 Send in Tackleberry. 950 01:03:47,615 --> 01:03:51,952 Tackleberry? He's across town. Hightower's only three blocks away. 951 01:03:52,161 --> 01:03:53,829 Send in Tackleberry. 952 01:03:54,038 --> 01:03:55,789 You heard him. Do it. 953 01:03:58,626 --> 01:04:05,632 [SIREN WAILING AND CAR HORN HONKING] 954 01:04:24,193 --> 01:04:26,736 - Sweetchuck! - What a lobby. 955 01:04:33,327 --> 01:04:35,829 Secure the elevator. I'll take the stairs. 956 01:05:08,571 --> 01:05:09,613 Easy. 957 01:05:12,909 --> 01:05:15,201 Sgt. Hooks, there's a 10-48! 958 01:05:15,411 --> 01:05:17,746 All right. Send in car 46. 959 01:05:18,205 --> 01:05:20,415 MRS. FACKLER: Car 46. Car 46. 960 01:05:21,250 --> 01:05:24,419 Hightower, there's a roving gang in the Gower district. 961 01:05:24,837 --> 01:05:26,421 KIRKLAND: Oh, boy, this is it. 962 01:05:26,589 --> 01:05:28,256 [SIREN WAILING] 963 01:05:28,424 --> 01:05:30,675 [LAUGHING] 964 01:05:30,885 --> 01:05:32,218 Right, right. 965 01:05:32,428 --> 01:05:34,971 Take a left... No, you're going towards the expressway! 966 01:05:35,181 --> 01:05:36,348 Take a U-turn on... 967 01:05:37,350 --> 01:05:39,601 Make a U-turn on Flint Street... 968 01:05:39,810 --> 01:05:42,812 No, you're going towards the expressway! What is that? 969 01:05:44,523 --> 01:05:46,274 No, wait, make a U-turn! 970 01:05:46,484 --> 01:05:48,443 - Where are we going? - Just relax. 971 01:05:48,945 --> 01:05:51,655 [SCREAMING] 972 01:05:53,574 --> 01:05:56,660 [MRS. FACKLER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER RADIO] 973 01:05:57,078 --> 01:05:58,453 Not a word. 974 01:06:00,206 --> 01:06:03,959 MRS. FACKLER: - then you go around. Stop! Don't... 975 01:06:06,462 --> 01:06:08,213 [BOTH LAUGH] 976 01:06:13,427 --> 01:06:15,428 [GUESTS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 977 01:06:24,855 --> 01:06:26,564 We're with the Governor at the trophy. 978 01:06:26,774 --> 01:06:28,942 The purpose of the regatta, of course... 979 01:06:29,151 --> 01:06:31,945 is we're hoping to raise about $20,000 for my campaign. 980 01:06:32,154 --> 01:06:33,488 I was going to- 981 01:06:33,698 --> 01:06:36,258 MAN 1: Good luck, Governor. - We're moving toward the punch bowl. 982 01:06:36,367 --> 01:06:38,535 Hello, Judge. Pick a winner, huh? 983 01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:40,036 CADETS: We've stopped. 984 01:06:40,246 --> 01:06:42,330 - Would you back off? CADETS: We're backing off. 985 01:06:42,748 --> 01:06:44,416 What are you trying to do, injure him? 986 01:06:44,625 --> 01:06:47,168 Comdt. Mauser's cadets never abandon their posts, sir! 987 01:06:47,378 --> 01:06:49,212 Unlike some cadets I might mention, sir! 988 01:06:49,422 --> 01:06:51,131 [LAUGHING] 989 01:07:02,810 --> 01:07:04,144 [LAUGHING] 990 01:07:11,986 --> 01:07:15,697 [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 991 01:07:20,745 --> 01:07:22,537 Holy cow! 992 01:07:27,835 --> 01:07:29,335 Mahoney. 993 01:07:29,545 --> 01:07:32,088 Mahoney, somebody, I need help. 994 01:07:32,465 --> 01:07:33,923 I need help. 995 01:07:36,218 --> 01:07:39,387 Listen, the busboys... 996 01:07:39,597 --> 01:07:41,723 are shooting my nose. 997 01:07:42,183 --> 01:07:44,684 MRS. FACKLER: Did you read that? Was that for real? 998 01:07:44,894 --> 01:07:46,478 We heard it. Sir? 999 01:07:46,687 --> 01:07:49,397 - Maybe we better check it out. - What about the evaluation? 1000 01:07:49,607 --> 01:07:52,650 One of my boys may be in trouble. Screw the evaluation. 1001 01:07:52,860 --> 01:07:55,028 I love it when you talk dirty, sir. 1002 01:07:55,237 --> 01:07:57,614 Mahoney must think he's as dumb as we are. 1003 01:07:57,823 --> 01:08:00,325 - We're not gonna fall for that stuff. - Yeah. 1004 01:08:00,534 --> 01:08:03,536 He must be getting desperate, trying to sucker us with that crap. 1005 01:08:06,123 --> 01:08:08,708 [GUESTS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY AND LAUGHING] 1006 01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:09,918 Go. 1007 01:08:10,127 --> 01:08:12,962 ROBBER 1 Come on, let's go. Come on. 1008 01:08:14,048 --> 01:08:16,508 ROBBER 2: Get your hands in the air. It's a stickup! 1009 01:08:16,842 --> 01:08:18,051 [SCREAMING] 1010 01:08:18,636 --> 01:08:21,054 If there was trouble, Baxter would let us know. 1011 01:08:21,263 --> 01:08:23,098 Take them, boys. 1012 01:08:24,475 --> 01:08:26,184 Don't you touch that. 1013 01:08:26,685 --> 01:08:28,812 No, not the one for bravery. 1014 01:08:33,484 --> 01:08:36,486 [SIRENS WAILING] 1015 01:09:03,597 --> 01:09:05,265 MAHONEY: There's the Yacht Club. 1016 01:09:07,977 --> 01:09:10,145 ADAMS: How are we gonna get there, Sergeant? 1017 01:09:12,940 --> 01:09:14,732 How do you look in a wet suit? 1018 01:09:14,942 --> 01:09:17,402 Hand over your money and jewels and nobody gets hurt! 1019 01:09:17,570 --> 01:09:19,737 You'll never get away with this. I'm the Governor. 1020 01:09:19,947 --> 01:09:23,116 The Governor? Did you hear that, boys? We got the Governor. 1021 01:09:23,325 --> 01:09:24,325 ROBBERS: Hooray! 1022 01:09:24,535 --> 01:09:26,744 You must be breaking your mother's heart. 1023 01:09:26,954 --> 01:09:29,622 Why don't you ask her? She's right over there. 1024 01:09:30,207 --> 01:09:31,958 Hi. 1025 01:09:32,168 --> 01:09:34,419 - Oh, yeah. She looks like you. - Hmm? 1026 01:10:00,362 --> 01:10:02,780 Gather our boys. We got trouble coming! 1027 01:10:18,881 --> 01:10:20,173 [SCREAMING] 1028 01:10:26,889 --> 01:10:29,432 Spread out, spread out. Spread. 1029 01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:30,642 I can't get Baxter. 1030 01:10:30,851 --> 01:10:34,729 Something's going on at the marina. Right over there. Take the next right. 1031 01:10:51,538 --> 01:10:54,874 Just relax. You've got the right to remain silent. 1032 01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:57,210 - You passed it. - They're not yielding. 1033 01:10:57,419 --> 01:10:58,795 - Pull over to the right. - Yield! 1034 01:10:59,004 --> 01:11:00,755 You're missing it. There goes the right. 1035 01:11:00,965 --> 01:11:03,007 We're in a police car and they're not yielding. 1036 01:11:06,262 --> 01:11:08,054 [ROBBER SCREAMS] 1037 01:11:08,931 --> 01:11:10,390 [LAUGHS] 1038 01:11:10,599 --> 01:11:11,724 Move! 1039 01:11:15,813 --> 01:11:18,398 MAHONEY: Stop. Hold it. - Mahoney! 1040 01:11:18,607 --> 01:11:20,525 Police officer. Stop right there! 1041 01:11:27,241 --> 01:11:30,118 Karen, I'm going after the Governor. 1042 01:11:36,500 --> 01:11:37,959 - Are you okay? ADAMS: Yes. 1043 01:11:38,168 --> 01:11:40,545 - You do look good in a wet suit. ADAMS: So do you. 1044 01:11:47,553 --> 01:11:49,887 [MIMICKING REVVING ENGINE] 1045 01:11:50,097 --> 01:11:56,102 [MIMICKING HOMING DEVICE] 1046 01:11:56,478 --> 01:11:57,687 CADET: Freeze! 1047 01:11:59,565 --> 01:12:00,815 Drop it! 1048 01:12:05,029 --> 01:12:07,488 Go ahead. Make my day... 1049 01:12:08,115 --> 01:12:09,282 punk! 1050 01:12:13,829 --> 01:12:15,204 ROBBERS: Freeze, cop! 1051 01:12:16,457 --> 01:12:18,666 Uh-oh. Trouble. 1052 01:12:29,928 --> 01:12:32,180 Banzai! 1053 01:12:41,482 --> 01:12:42,982 Yeah. 1054 01:12:45,944 --> 01:12:47,904 [BOTH SCREAMING] 1055 01:12:59,541 --> 01:13:01,334 I didn't mean to hit you. 1056 01:13:01,543 --> 01:13:04,128 [ZED GRUNTING] 1057 01:13:04,338 --> 01:13:06,839 I hate you. I hate you. 1058 01:13:33,700 --> 01:13:35,618 Hey. Pull over. 1059 01:13:40,165 --> 01:13:42,041 ADAMS: Mahoney, you all right? 1060 01:13:42,251 --> 01:13:44,585 I'm okay. Just keep going. 1061 01:13:50,217 --> 01:13:51,759 MAN 1: Hey. 1062 01:13:53,262 --> 01:13:55,179 Get out of my way, old man. 1063 01:13:59,101 --> 01:14:02,186 [ROBBER SCREAMING] 1064 01:14:04,148 --> 01:14:06,065 Mahoney's in trouble. Let's go! 1065 01:14:06,275 --> 01:14:08,734 You got it. Oh! 1066 01:14:29,423 --> 01:14:31,382 [SWEETCHUCK SCREAMING] 1067 01:14:48,275 --> 01:14:49,442 [SCREAMING] 1068 01:15:08,879 --> 01:15:10,087 [SCREAMING] 1069 01:15:11,632 --> 01:15:15,092 [ZED LAUGHING] 1070 01:15:17,804 --> 01:15:19,388 MAUSER: Proctor, you're an idiot. 1071 01:15:19,598 --> 01:15:22,558 You were born an idiot, you'll always be an idiot. 1072 01:15:34,404 --> 01:15:36,405 [ENGINE SPUTTERING] 1073 01:15:39,701 --> 01:15:40,952 [JONES MIMICKING ALARM] 1074 01:15:41,161 --> 01:15:42,245 Dive. 1075 01:16:41,305 --> 01:16:42,930 [MAHONEY SCREAMING] 1076 01:16:47,978 --> 01:16:49,729 Whoa! 1077 01:16:50,397 --> 01:16:51,814 Yahoo! 1078 01:16:55,944 --> 01:16:57,445 MAUSER: Move it, Proctor. 1079 01:16:57,654 --> 01:17:00,031 I got this side, you paddle on the other side. 1080 01:17:00,240 --> 01:17:01,866 Uh-oh. Oh. Hey, hey, hey! 1081 01:17:02,075 --> 01:17:03,326 Hold it! 1082 01:17:03,535 --> 01:17:05,036 PROCTOR: Hey! - No, no, no! 1083 01:17:09,583 --> 01:17:11,083 You okay, sir? 1084 01:17:20,844 --> 01:17:22,845 Aah! Look out. 1085 01:17:24,181 --> 01:17:25,181 [SCREAMING] 1086 01:17:52,209 --> 01:17:54,293 [SCREAMING] 1087 01:18:01,635 --> 01:18:03,094 Let's talk. Ha! 1088 01:18:14,773 --> 01:18:18,067 [SCREAMING] 1089 01:18:19,111 --> 01:18:23,406 [SCREAMING] 1090 01:18:23,824 --> 01:18:26,158 [CRASHING] 1091 01:18:29,371 --> 01:18:31,163 MAN 1: You okay? WOMAN 1: You need help? 1092 01:18:33,083 --> 01:18:35,376 WOMAN 2: Where's the Governor? MAN 2: Governor! 1093 01:18:35,585 --> 01:18:37,128 [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] 1094 01:18:38,338 --> 01:18:40,631 Don't move, dirt bag! 1095 01:18:45,804 --> 01:18:48,597 All right! Can we go again? 1096 01:18:48,807 --> 01:18:52,935 [CHEERING AND WHISTLING] 1097 01:19:00,902 --> 01:19:02,236 [SCREAMING] 1098 01:19:08,076 --> 01:19:11,162 MAHONEY: I'd like to thank the members of my racing team for their assistance. 1099 01:19:11,371 --> 01:19:12,371 I couldn't have won... 1100 01:19:12,581 --> 01:19:17,084 LASSARD: -without the help of my many wonderful instructors... 1101 01:19:17,294 --> 01:19:19,837 and my many fine cadets. 1102 01:19:21,840 --> 01:19:23,340 Thanks to all... 1103 01:19:23,550 --> 01:19:27,511 this academy will carry on its fine tradition. 1104 01:19:27,721 --> 01:19:32,558 [CHEERING] 1105 01:19:37,272 --> 01:19:39,023 Ha!